I am a failure.

I want to stop on blogging. I am running this blog for six months already. Isn’t that enough? Before Gusot: dahil hindi plantsado ang buhay ng tao, I had had a number of blogs that only lasted for a month or two. Who didn’t know my one-year old pseudonym Paurong? Now I see this as too much.

In all honest, the root of this lethargy is that I am fed up of hoping, wishing, and praying. I want that, I need that, I want you, I need you are those statements that are ought to be junked out of my system.

No to Boaz act.

[edit] (July 31, 2007. 6:10 pm) Si Ivan, hindi ako. Si Ivan na kaklase niya sa San Joaquin-Kalawaan High School. Si Ivan na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Hindi ako. Hindi ako ang Emo na tinukoy niya. Oo, bakit ba hindi ko naisip. Ang tanga-tanga ko talaga. I am such a crappy failure. I want to die. [/edit]

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APAW.

Jaegar, Milcah and I magnificently enjoyed the Praise and Worship concert in Word of Hope that lasted for four hours. Screaming our lungs out was the best part of it; we seemed to sing unendlessly. I was totally marveled by the thousands (let me repeat that, thousands) of people who attended the APAW. How I wish more youth will know Jesus.

Mine.

My eyes have yet to cast a look upon you.
As I hear your seemingly fearless voice–
As I pray that you will soon be mine–
I know, that you contain my emptiness.

I am deeply mesmerized by the wholeness of your being
My inner senses are beckoning
Like the glitters of your smile
The rattling sound of quietness tells me
That I can hold you in my arms.

Are there measures for me to let you know
How much I truly care for you?
Will heaven help me tell you in whisper why I love you?

Loving need no reason to be nothing
For it is my heart that beats
And it is my love I will be giving
Forever.

4:50 PM / Sampaloc, Manila