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4:00 am | makapal ang mukha mo

Posted by Paurong sa Biyernes, Marso 17, 2006

That’s his last word, then he put the phone down.

I ruined his life. It’s my fault. I was bad, really bad. I feel very guilty. I do not know how to react on what happened. Hours ago, we were talking like good friends then suddenly I have to break the ice and go to the climax of telling him the truth. I feel guilty. I thought telling the truth would make my feeling lighter but then the irony preoccupied. I told him who I am. I want to cry right now. I want to sob as much as possible to release this kind of emotion. I am guilty. I was bad. I was really bad. What more should I say? I shouldn’t say that. Why did I told him my real identity, and the worse, I told him where I live, how old I am, what school I go to, what year I am (but didn’t tell him the section). I am afraid. What if he go to RHS tomorrow or maybe someday, then he hunt for me. I am really afraid. I do not know what to do. From the very start, why did I do that? I ruined everything.

“Masaya ka ba sa panloloko mo?”

“Makapal ang mukha mo!”

My mind is blasting off to the endless peculiarity. I do not know what to do. I am afraid. Can anybody help me?

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