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Archive for Nobyembre, 2006

the invisible man

Posted by Paurong sa Martes, Nobyembre 28, 2006

Sometimes we wish to be invisible. Now, how i wish i could be one.

Someone who are unseen, someone who is unheard and someone who will be dead as soon the sun shines down on you tomorrow. You may no longer hear me. Yet I will then be unevitable, still chaotic and misabsorbed by the people around me.

Dropped dead.


Posted in Personal | 11 Comments »

small coins

Posted by Paurong sa Lunes, Nobyembre 27, 2006

As I was reading the Philippine Daily Inquirer today, I was stucked on this article about the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas urging Filipinos to circulate small coins. So striking. As I was pacing to the computer shop I always go to, I was thinking of some mantras or even anything to begin this post. I was determined to write something about it.

Decided what unit to use, I waited for this girl who was fixing her things up before leaving that unit. Suddenly, I found a 25-centavo coin beside the keyboard and hurriedly, I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I have read that three to four out of ten Filipinos, as estimated by BSP, disregard the value of small coins such as 5-centavo, 10-centavo, and even the 25-centavo.

So what seems to be the problem? Primarily, it’s because of the intimidation that has been struggling over many of us nowadays. Look at a point in which you see a 5-centavo coin while walking along your street, and then you’ll hear this voice telling you that it is worthless to get the coin. Another thing is that many of us today had a number of small coins but apparently have no intention to use those, for money’s sake!

From now on, I would try my best to appreciate our currency, and particularly, our small coins that have been on the oldies’ list for quite some time.

Posted in Personal | 10 Comments »

still lost and unheard

Posted by Paurong sa Linggo, Nobyembre 26, 2006

Is it time to dissipate time staring at this magical screen? Life is so full of ups and down. This cliché reflects everything about me save for the fact that I am always on the lower part of the wheel of life.

How can you be happy if you lack caress from your family? How can you be happy if you lack the attention you ought to have? How can you be happy when once in a while, people around you misunderstand you? Or at the very least, you don’t have a family at all–a mother, a father, siblings…

I realize that I am in a total melancholic state. I want to be happy but life itself is hindering my longing. I have to live life without my parents–that’s the thing I can puke on. Everytime I see loving families which are not broken, which are happy together, I always tend to get jealous. Life taunts happiness in me. All I ever wanted is happiness and no cost can buy the happiness I desire.

I am living a life I never wished to have yet I am glad that there are still people who care for me. What if I die tonight? Will people cry for me? When will people eat crow just because I died? Too funny I am wishing death. But paradoxically speaking, I still want to live.

I am living a life without the people who should be here beside me, to help me in troubles, to join me in jauntiness and laughters, to teach me right from wrong, to deliver me from harm…

Many people around me always tell me to forget the grudges I am feeling. But then I cannot. And I shall not just “forget” the damage they had made. They left me. They never cared for me.

Where is my mother? Where the hell is my mother? Can anyone tell me where she is? This is my primary inhibition in life which causes me more impairments. I am always being jealous everytime I see children being taken cared of their mothers. The love of a mother is priceless, I know that. And so I envy those people who have their mothers with them.

Where is my mother? Please tell me lest I’ll kill myself! Sadistic. Cruel. I’ll not injure myself just because of that. I want to cry. But I am a valiant man. So what if my mother is not here? Who cares? I am just jealous. That’s it. No more further ado.

I miss her. I’ve never seen her for four years. The last time we saw each other is when I was about to graduate elementary. Since then, she never contacted me. She didn’t keep in touch with me anymore. I lost her but she never and will never lose me. On this battle, I have to win. I have to survive this scorching pain. It is always here inside my heart. The scar is harder to heal compared to a wound because a scar will stay there since it is etched already.

Here in my heart, deep inside my heart, rancors live… I just hope everyone around me will listen and will understand me. How I wish.

Likewise, I hope everything will be fine soon. About me and A____. About me and R____. Call me stupid or what. I don’t know now. I am bearing a sheer chain in my heart wrapped around my temperament.

Please listen. 640****.

Posted in Personal | 12 Comments »

for troy!

Posted by Paurong sa Biyernes, Nobyembre 24, 2006

You said it right! The Seniors won!

Posted in Personal | 13 Comments »