Ang Blog ni Paurong!

Dahil hindi plantsado ang buhay ng tao.

I am a failure.

Posted by Paurong sa Martes, Hulyo 31, 2007

I want to stop on blogging. I am running this blog for six months already. Isn’t that enough? Before Gusot: dahil hindi plantsado ang buhay ng tao, I had had a number of blogs that only lasted for a month or two. Who didn’t know my one-year old pseudonym Paurong? Now I see this as too much.

In all honest, the root of this lethargy is that I am fed up of hoping, wishing, and praying. I want that, I need that, I want you, I need you are those statements that are ought to be junked out of my system.

My life appears to be a string of failures:

May it be on my exams in school… I am flunking my subjects by just missing a couple of points! I am not saying that I fail tests. In fact, I am always one of the highest scorer in every test we had if not the highest. That’s the reason why I am utterly disappointed with my midterm grade in ICTFUND: I got 3.0 (89-92) when I should have had at least 3.5 (93-96) if I reviewed those three items I left blank on the last long quiz. I am blatantly offended by my blockmates each time they tell me such things like “Ang talino mo talaga”, “Ikaw nga ‘yung matalino, eh”, “Ang galing mo naman”, “Akin na lang ‘yang utak mo!” etc.

May it be with regards to love… Duh! She doesn’t want to have me, she wants him not me! How many times do I have to insist on my stupid head that she is not mine. My heart cries everytime I see her talk about other guys, for that matter. I just want to be loved the same way I can offer myself to the one I love wholly and without hesitation.

May it be on having a best friend… Come on! This is totally stupid to anyone who reads this. I know, but then I admit that I need someone I can be with lest the girl friend thingimabob is impossible. How I wish I would meet a replica of an Emoseb who longs to have a confidante whom he can trust. It scourges me everytime the thoughts of the lost and forgotten friendships I had in the past lingers in my mind. I need to get over those by having a friend friend.

Owning a cellphone is included… I almost cry at this very moment fantasizing myself to be on a remote place where I know not anyone. Communication is very important, I should say. Many times had I been unable to compensate with people I should have met just because of the mere fact of the lack of communication. Furthermore, I am now losing my interest in my photography endeavor. How can I pursue my photography if I am not equipped? Art seems to be artless now because of this. I am so pathetic.

Yes, I am. I despise myself for being so sad lately. I can’t see the point, neither. All I can do now is to take a rest on blogging, if ever I come upon that decision to end this once-fantastic travail.

And now, as I am writing this post under the chills of the airconditioning unit of Computer Lab B, I can conclude that I am a failure.

16 Tugon to “I am a failure.”

  1. Joanne said

    Ano ba ‘yan. Todo naman ang pagka-emo mo ngayon. You’re not a failure.

  2. dEe said

    EMO – kaya pala Emo Sevenfold ang nick mo eh… napakagrabe naman nito. be happy. kung hindi talaga siya para sayo… e di wag. madame pa naman jan. wag mong gawing rason iyan para mag-goodbye sa blogworld. helow there… were all your friends here.

    wag ka mag-iisip ng ganyan. bat mo naman nasabi na wala kang bestfriend… nandito naman kami, nasa sa iyo yan kung sino ang pipiliin mo sa amin.

    BE HAPPY! that’s the law of life.

  3. Len-Len said

    ta3 talaga…….

    akalain mo0o0……

    i feeL da same way to0o….

    nyahahahah….

    *y0k0o0 talagang may mag-flatter sa kin at may magset ng high expectation saken…….itso0o0 awkward…..kainis….

    *luv?….binasted k0o un isa kasi iba gus2 k0o0-a guy wh0 d0n’t even notice me…..wewewew…guLo ko0o0o0o……

    *bestfriend?…..matagaL ko0 nang hinahanap anG ta0 wh0m i cud share my secreTs…my confidant…kaso0o natatak0t ak0o0o…di k0o0 aLam kung pano….kung saan magsimuLa….hahay…

    *La pa rin ak0ng cp…..hahahah…..y0ko lng magkar00n……
    advantage k0 na rin yun e…kai pag may unscheduled meetings…may excuse ak0o0o ^_^…..
    per0 nahuhuLi na rin yata ak0o0o sa ag0s ng panah0n…..
    kelangan k0 na rin yata ng cp…..

    gus2 k0 rin ang ph0tography….
    pr0 it is discourage yata by my parents kase gastos…..
    hay…………..

    kaya HINDI KA NAG-IISA KAPATID….
    wak0o0o0o0ko0o0k0o0o…..

    ang haba yata ng tinatype ko0…..
    na-cacaried away?……
    wLa lng….
    galeng m0 kasing mg-engLish eh=)….

  4. japboy said

    naks, nagbabago ang personality mo jonell ah, EMO ka na pala ngaun. hihi. Wag ka mamroblema, halos parehas ln tau ng problema oh.

    Kaya wag mo problemahin ang problema para wala kang problema.

    Hjihihi. Labo.🙂 Nga pala, bumalik na ako,

  5. isagani x, m.a. said

    sige, magemote ka pa😛

  6. bonniefazzyoo said

    life is a bitch talaga… and so am I, mwahahaha!

  7. tsk…

  8. Emoseb said

    5:58 pm
    JOANNE — yes, i am a failure. walang kokontra! (parang blog mo lang ha)
    DILAN — thankful ako dahil nanjan ka para icomfort ako. salamat talaga. kelangan ko kasi ng kaibigan buti nanjan ka. sana.
    LEN-LEN — sino ka nga pala? kilala mo ba ako? paano ka ba napadpad dito sa blog ko. hayz. magpakilala ka naman.
    BYRON — wala namang pagbabago e. ganoon pa rin. emotional pa rin. hindi pa rin nagbabago.
    CHICO — onga. emotional naman palagi e.
    BONNIEFAZZYOO — and so am i.
    RAYMOND — tsk din.

  9. red06 said

    huh? hindi ba’t kamakailan lamang nun sabihin mo sakin not to stop writing?

    pero i understand where you’re coming and right now you probably dont give a shit to anyone. uwi ka muna, kumain, maligo then itulog mo lang yan🙂

    bee happy!

  10. Emoseb said

    6:05 pm
    RED06 — tama ka nga.

  11. emosix said

    you’re EMOer [my own coined term] than me by one fold. hay.

  12. @emoseb – teka nga, matanong nga kita, natutulog ka pa ba? baka puyat lang yan pre. ^_^ (seriously, maghihintay kami sayo kung sakaling aalis ka, nandito lng naman ang internet, hindi mo matatakasan yan. ^_^)

  13. marj said

    wui, break na kmi…
    =), hay, pero feeling ko , hinhntay nya lng akong mkipagbreak sa knya…
    xe parang wla lng..
    tsk3…huhuhu
    diba kng mahal nya tlga ako, di dpat xa agad agad papayag..bkit ganun..huhu..hay, mga lalaki tlga..(except friends q and sam)
    hay…

  14. Emoseb said

    1:48 am
    EMOSIX — hmmm.. sino ka kaya? teka. alam kong kilala mo.. pano ba naman, email address ko inilagay mo sa e-mail. tsk.
    RAYMOND — natutulog naman ako. kaya lang hindi normal. in short, abnormal.
    MARJORIE — buti naman break na kayo. hate love.

  15. jelin said

    whaty can i say? well to start i dont think u r a failure, but then again i dont know a lot about you (n_n)…take care, bye🙂

  16. Emoseb said

    4:34 am
    Ms. JELIN — thanks for commenting. well, i am really a failure, believe me.

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