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Posted by Paurong sa Lunes, Agosto 20, 2007

Losing Grips

Music: King of Majesty – Hillsong United [ 12:15 am, my room ]

Being this age doesn’t necessarily bring the hell out of me. The figure shows that I still have an awful lot of things to learn. And so, I see to it that I can show the world who I really am by means of grasping my strengths and surmounting my weaknesses.

At school, I am a very forlorn person who is ofter than never defined as an emo not because of my hair or the way I dress up but because of my emotional differences juxtaposed to theirs. During lunch breaks, I always opt to be alone in a fastfood chain and am usually fed up on observing how other fellows act, talk and behave. Everytime an idea pop through the nerve cells of my cerebellum, I write it down. Queer as it may sound, I list down every name I hear, whether I know the person or not, dreaming that someday, somehow, I will be able to write stories with the help of the ideas I have been gathering and the myriad of names, of course.

One may ask if the emo-ness in me secludes me from the real world, leaving me behind without a single friend. My answer is definitely a gargantuan “No.” The word “barkada” has never been put on my dictionary, however. Friends for me may be or may not be there for you but there are true friends who will be there, staying for you, beside you no matter what struggle you will go through. I am not saying that I do not have friends at school, let alone childhood friends. Only, I have no guts to flaunt any circle of friends because I don’t have one.

The past grueling years of my life triggered and molded the emo-ness in me that is, well, apparent to anyone. Being a melancholic person made me see life more vividly. If not because of the emotional breakdowns and the incongruous hardships that I was able to surpass, I would not be the person I am right now. If not because of the number of realizations that life have catapulted on my senses, I would not be able to share my life to other people.

ScreenshotSometimes, I can be a kind of help a despondent seeks. Sometimes, I can inspire and counsel. By and large, my emo-ness is not an emcumbrance on my being human.

Music: Brick – Ben Folds Five [ 5:35 pm, room ]

And here I go again, absorbing the delusional definition of lethargy. I am indulging myself on O2Jam sessions to have some fun. I just hope my mother won’t be right at the door again. Mom, just because you’re a supervisor on your company doesn’t authorize you to hinder this overwhelming endeavor!


13 Tugon to “Emo-ness.”

  1. sooperunnamed said

    Kapag may ka date ka kaya nagsusulat ka pa din ng pangalan sa tissue?

    Kasi ako gagawin ko pa din ‘yun. πŸ˜€

    Perhaps, I’d still find a way to write it down, even on a piece of tissue paper.

  2. sooperunnamed said

    Minus pogi points.

    Just because. But if that doesn’t work out right, so be it.

  3. kengkay said

    uy, kapag inspiration strikes, sinusulat ko rin kahit na sa tisyu lang. i have dreams of writing a book, too. secret lang ha — i am actually collaborating with a friend about a children’s book now πŸ˜‰ heniway, tama ka — kapag kaibigan mo, mananatiling kaibigan mo sya kahit na sino ka man. p.s. punta kami today sa KFC, as promised, will let u know kung pagong ba sila or rabbit!

    I hope you will be able to complete that children book. How I wish KFC there is a rabbit, so to speak.

  4. Joanne said

    oww. dumadami ang populasyon ng mga EMOng tao ngayon ah. well I guess ‘yung iba emo-look lang but not really as emo as you are. ano ba yan. eto lang talaga, SMILE, SMILE, SMILE and uhh.. make more true friends πŸ˜€

    Being an emo, as I said, is not about the fashion. Friends can be friends but not always, remember that.

  5. tim ang said

    hindi talaga ako ma-adik-adik sa O2 Jam. hindi ko alam kung bakit? πŸ˜›

    Maybe because you don’t want to have a metacarpal disorder. I have one, I guess. No, just kidding.

  6. ginoong lapis said

    be positive lang bro… and ur whole world will be postive too afterwards. πŸ˜€

    How you wish.

  7. Joanne said

    O2 jam? try Sims 2 instead. It very much addicting than that finger-breaking O2 jam. hah. πŸ˜€

    Sims 2? Hmm.. Let me think.

  8. Joanne said

    wow. super-active ka talaga sa wordpress ah. mas masipag ka pa magblog sa ‘kin. πŸ˜€

    Not actually.

  9. Your internet nick surprisingly resembles mine and Skyelau’s website (

    I see that you just have started this blog this month of August, while I have been using the “Jake the Miserable” nick since April. You can check my blog ( for verification.

    I hope that this will bring to your attention. Thanks.

    Excuse me. I don’t even know the two of you. I’ve never been to either of your blogs. And, I guess, your bearing that nick, as you say, since April doesn’t stupid me lest I started blogging lately. Thank you.

  10. maya said

    Hi! Thanks for coming to my blog.

    You like GG and Harry Potter too? Oh, it’s so nice to have some commons with someone.
    By the way, have you heard that GG had come to an end. 😦

    Heard of it. How sad.

  11. Mithi said

    The things you write when you’re too EMOtional. πŸ˜‰

    I think so. Hmmm..

  12. ewanko said

    di ko binasa post mo

    salamat pala sa pgbisita at pagkomento

    balik k ah hehehe

    waw…maka-hillsong ka pala..hehe

    un lng Godbless !

    Ok. Thanks, anyway.

  13. nothinggainednothinglostnothingventured said

    I am not Jeffrey… My name’s Jeff but not Jeffrey… Maybe, your mistaking me for Jeffrey Gumawid… What do you think? Some of my classmates know you but I don’t…. I’ll be candid… Is Rizal High School your Alma Mater? Who the heck are you? Oh, and by the way… I’m a IV-4 student… and Jeffrey’s in section 2…

    Jonell: Sorry for mistaking you. I just thought you’re Jeffrey. I came from RHS.

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